(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: If you think this is bad you should see the library of literary references. Also the well-populated shelf about sasquatch and aliens. Today's News:

(2 min) Piled Higher & Deeper by Jorge Cham www.phdcomics.com title: "The COVID-19 Virus Explained" - originally published 9/17/2021 For the latest news in PHD Comics, CLICK HERE!

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: If you enjoyed this comic, I just slightly murdered you. Today's News:

(1 min) archive - contact - sexy exciting merchandise - search - about ← previousSeptember 17th, 2021next September 17th, 2021: Listen, some days you gast the flabbers, some days the flabbers gast you. Ain't that always the way – Ryan

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: I hate when they do this, and they don't even care! Today's News:

(1 min) No content preview

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: I'm amazed nobody else has come up with this way to lie to medical caregivers. Today's News:

(1 min) archive - contact - sexy exciting merchandise - search - about ← previousSeptember 15th, 2021next September 15th, 2021: OUT NOW is LOST IN RANDOM, a super fun action adventure game that I wrote all the dialogue for! CHECK IT OUT and I hope you like it, I really do!! – Ryan

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: Oh, and the handle has lead paint all over it, so wash your hands really well between uses. Today's News:

(1 min) No content preview

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: We'll be doing a virtual chat about Fuzz this evening - please check the below-comic blog for the link. Today's News: Click here for tonight's chat!

(1 min) archive - contact - sexy exciting merchandise - search - about ← previousSeptember 13th, 2021next September 13th, 2021: OUT NOW is LOST IN RANDOM, a super fun action adventure game that I wrote all the dialogue for! CHECK IT OUT and I hope you like it, I really do!! – Ryan

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: Can we bring back the hats without bringing back the people-burning? Today's News:

(1 min) No content preview

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: I've had enough of your domineering, when considered in light of macroeconomic conditions! Today's News:

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: If you look at the history of depictions of Sirens it goes from weird bird-ladies to sneaky fish ladies to naked chubby girls. This is progress we can believe in. Today's News:

(1 min) Piled Higher & Deeper by Jorge Cham www.phdcomics.com title: "Insult to injury" - originally published 9/10/2021 For the latest news in PHD Comics, CLICK HERE!

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: Pour me a Mint (king of the Jews)lep. Today's News:

(1 min) No content preview

(1 min) archive - contact - sexy exciting merchandise - search - about ← previousSeptember 9th, 2021next September 9th, 2021: OUT TODAY is LOST IN RANDOM, a super fun action adventure game that I wrote all the dialogue for! CHECK IT OUT and I hope you like it, I really do!! – Ryan

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: Any time you have two consonants in a row, if you flip them, you're now speaking Odl Enlgihs. Today's News:

(1 min) archive - contact - sexy exciting merchandise - search - about ← previousSeptember 8th, 2021next September 8th, 2021: COMING OUT on FRIDAY (two days!) is LOST IN RANDOM, a super fun action adventure game that I wrote all the dialogue for! CHECK IT OUT and I hope you like it, I really do!! – Ryan

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: Diagrams will be included in the conference proceedings volume. Today's News:

(1 min) No content preview

(0 min) Software development satire

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: Can we just cancel sex? Is it too late? The whole thing just got creepy. Today's News:

(1 min) archive - contact - sexy exciting merchandise - search - about ← previousSeptember 6th, 2021next September 6th, 2021: I WROTE A NEW BOOK! It's called HOW TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD and it's non-fiction and it's the spiritual sequel to HOW TO INVENT EVERYTHING and it's got illustrations by Carly Monardo and it's really great and I hope you like it! You can find out more riiiight here. The book comes out March 15th, 2022 but you can reserve your copy this very minute! – Ryan

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: No, next you get one of the other forty. Today's News:

(1 min) No content preview

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: I don't see the Dursleys owning any elves is all I'm saying. Today's News:

(1 min) Piled Higher & Deeper by Jorge Cham www.phdcomics.com title: "Lab coat" - originally published 9/3/2021 For the latest news in PHD Comics, CLICK HERE!

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: You know what, I'm going to go make cookies. Today's News:

(1 min) archive - contact - sexy exciting merchandise - search - about ← previousSeptember 3rd, 2021next September 3rd, 2021: I WROTE A NEW BOOK! It's called HOW TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD and it's non-fiction and it's the spiritual sequel to HOW TO INVENT EVERYTHING and it's got illustrations by Carly Monardo and it's really great and I hope you like it! You can find out more riiiight here. The book comes out March 15th, 2022 but you can reserve your copy this very minute! – Ryan

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: All examples from the book Noise, by Kahneman, Sibony, and Sunstein, which I'm enjoying right now. Today's News:

(1 min) No content preview

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: Finally, some topical humor. Today's News:

(1 min) archive - contact - sexy exciting merchandise - search - about ← previousSeptember 1st, 2021next September 1st, 2021: Language Log wrote about the previous two comics in this post and this followup and THIS new followup! Linguistics: always awesome. – Ryan

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: My real name is Dongcrafter. Today's News:

(1 min) No content preview

(0 min) No content preview

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: There's always a catch. Today's News:

(1 min) archive - contact - sexy exciting merchandise - search - about ← previousAugust 30th, 2021next August 30th, 2021: Language Log wrote about yesterday's comic in this post and this followup! In it they request your "I don't know" hums and I sent in my own. This is your chance to contribute your "I don't know" hum! – Ryan

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: Anyway, back to my time machine to bring up dongs with Archimedes. Today's News:

(1 min) No content preview

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: In the future, entirely new excretory orifices can be created to express wholly novel categorize of feeling. Today's News:

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: Absolutely locking up the rationalist-theory-of-war/comics crossover audience today. Today's News:

(1 min) Piled Higher & Deeper by Jorge Cham www.phdcomics.com title: "Alexa" - originally published 8/27/2021 For the latest news in PHD Comics, CLICK HERE!

(1 min) archive - contact - sexy exciting merchandise - search - about ← previousAugust 27th, 2021next August 27th, 2021: I WROTE A NEW BOOK! It's called HOW TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD and it's non-fiction and it's the spiritual sequel to HOW TO INVENT EVERYTHING and it's got illustrations by Carly Monardo and it's really great and I hope you like it! You can find out more riiiight here. The book comes out March 15th, 2022 but you can reserve your copy this very minute! – Ryan

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: Fortunately, nobody reads newspapers. Today's News:

(1 min) No content preview

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: I've been told by programmers that physicists make the worst code because they want all the variables to be single letters instead of descriptions of what the variable means. Today's News:

(1 min) archive - contact - sexy exciting merchandise - search - about ← previousAugust 25th, 2021next August 25th, 2021: I WROTE A NEW BOOK! It's called HOW TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD and it's non-fiction and it's the spiritual sequel to HOW TO INVENT EVERYTHING and it's got illustrations by Carly Monardo and it's really great and I hope you like it! You can find out more riiiight here. The book comes out March 15th, 2022 but you can reserve your copy this very minute! – Ryan

(0 min) Software development satire

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: Thank you! Our kickstarter as funded 3.66 times over in its first 24 hours! Nerdy boardgame INCOMING Today's News: THANKYOUUUUUUUU!

(1 min) No content preview

(0 min) No content preview

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: Thanks, everyone. We hope you like it! Today's News: Thanks geeks! Click here to check it out.

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: GPT-3 kept telling me not to post this, so I made it mop my floor. Today's News: Kickstarter launch in 6 minutes dorkwads! Please give it a look!

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: You know, Randall Munroe may be smarter, Kate Beaton funnier, Allie Brosh more insightful, Ryan North just wayyyy more attractive, and Boulet basically me but taller, better at art, and French, BUT I have the very most Alexander Pope quotes. Today's News: Kickstarter launching in 12 minutes! Stay tuned for bonus update...

(1 min) archive - contact - sexy exciting merchandise - search - about ← previousAugust 23rd, 2021next August 23rd, 2021: I WROTE A NEW BOOK! It's called HOW TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD and it's non-fiction and it's the spiritual sequel to HOW TO INVENT EVERYTHING and it's got illustrations by Carly Monardo and it's really great and I hope you like it! You can find out more riiiight here. The book comes out March 15th, 2022 but you can reserve your copy this very minute! – Ryan

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: She's gonna get a really bad score on 'ignoring the way I'm perpetually judging her'. Today's News:

(1 min) No content preview

(0 min) Don't make me fire a third round, sir

(0 min) Eagle, more like PEEgle

(0 min) fluffy puppy dickens

(0 min) good dogs eat the poop

(0 min) Life does not go on forever

(0 min) just like in all of those movies

(0 min) ha ha ha huhhhhgh

(0 min) *cough*

(0 min) Charles is dead now

(0 min) I FUCKING LOVE MY BRO MOM BRO

(0 min) You did this too

(0 min) I'm not gonna lie to you, it's gross

(0 min) ew ew ew ew ew

(0 min) love those dads

(0 min) Deep dickin'

(0 min) It's true

(0 min) Eat that neck

(0 min) So uh uh you know uh

(0 min) Open your fucking ears! I said I have a real bad tummy ache!

(0 min) So sick

(0 min) Mission Control check out my dick

(0 min) :-(

(0 min) whump whump whump whump whump

(0 min) um, aaaa

(0 min) Now is it bigger than a truck? Nobody knows

(0 min) Heh. Heh. Heh. heh

(0 min) Right?

(0 min) nature does not care

(0 min) All work and no play makes Jon a dull boy

(0 min) bugs

(0 min) frrtt

(0 min) S O C O O L

(0 min) I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT

(0 min) Seriously though thanks for touching my dick.

(0 min) zeros across the board

(0 min) And I dunno, Alf. Alf is in the movie?

(0 min) Put those organs in there

(0 min) HN

(0 min) the other arm says "THERE ARE A LOT OF FACTORS TO CONSIDER"

(0 min) that's a thing about ducks

(0 min) Alternate jokes: Roast Bleef, Slalamli, Tlurkey Breast

(0 min) :I

(0 min) Lady, seriously?

(0 min) Take that butt right off

(0 min) This is a real thing

(0 min) chirp

(0 min) Oh heck eh

(0 min) Those darn fingers are too small, darn it!

(0 min) Gonna do it

(0 min) Bzzzzzzzzzzz Bzzz bzzz bzz

(0 min) These penises are badly water damaged

(0 min) Welp, seeya later!

(0 min) I don't even know that I have a tongue yet

(0 min) Typical!

(0 min) Hnnnn...*sob*

(0 min) And your purse and lipstick and stuff

(0 min) Barfin' Lady

(0 min) I HATE BIRDS

(0 min) Dookie

(0 min) Make my skeleton kiss me on my skinlips

(0 min) sick tramp

(0 min) The regular eagle just wants to see you succeed

(0 min) Ssssssssssssssshoot

(0 min) Who doesn't want a slippery butt. Get that butt as slippery as you can, please.

(0 min) Also you're dying

(0 min) Us guys here in space. Spaceguys.

(0 min) Goku, bro

(0 min) X _ X

(0 min) it is true

(0 min) Beep boop don't be a homo beep

(0 min) Two sort of offensive strips in a row *fistpump*

(0 min) Hhhhhhhhh heh ha hhh gh ghhhh

(0 min) Once upon a time, there was a murderhole

(0 min) kick kick kick kick kick awk awwwkk kick

(0 min) Haha! Ha! Hahaha!

(0 min) MY DICK, BRO

(0 min) It's Basil!

(0 min) The slimy thing is called that because it is slimy

(0 min) Sometimes things work out for the best

(0 min) AaaaaaaaAAAA

(0 min) Initializing

(0 min) The joke is that the nerd character is monstrously evil

(0 min) That is what a taint is, in my art

(0 min) Local artist commits suicide

(0 min) :|

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: Of course the real concern is precisely how the Easter Bunny feels about its state. Today's News:

(0 min) Click here to go see the bonus panel! Hovertext: Also pugs. They've suffered enough. Today's News: